Monday, March 7, 2011
Cat Tien Field Trip
My favorite part of the trip was to visit Ho Sau. We have to walk ten kilometers to go there and back. I like to walk in the jungle, because of the fresh air and the feeling that I’m part of the nature. It was the first time that I really walk on a trail. The jungle was huge and dense but there was only one trail so it was hard to get lost. When we got to the lake, it was big and cool. There was the time that my group got cut off with the teacher. We have to find the way out by ourselves and I was leading the group. I was a little bit panic because the trail look different when we arrived. We didn’t caught up with them into we got out of the jungle and it was a relief for me. Cat Tien held a lot of my memories, good and bad but during the ride home, I miss it a lot.
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I like how you describe your feeling about walking in the jungle. You have some grammar mistakes (past tense) and word choice. Using more descriptive words and taking the dead words out will make your paragraph sound better. You can also be more specific when describing something by using, again, descriptive words and telling more details. I am kind of confused whether the moment you are talking about is when you walk in the jungle or get lost, so yeah, be more specific. 8/12 :).
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